Then, in the mass confusion, slamming her knees and face together, like an accordion.” 11. “The act of kneeling over your woman, beating off and quietly shitting on her knees, before loudly busting out onto her face. The taint is placed between the lips and gummed on, like an old woman eating a huge rubber cock.” 10. “A sexual act in which one partner, while performing cunnilingus, adjusts such that the upper lip rests on the woman’s labia while the lower lip rests on her anus. “When you light a girl’s pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say ‘You don’t have have enough badges to train me.'” 9. Charleston Chew “To suck your own or another’s cum out of a person’s ass, then spit it into their mouth, like a mother bird feeding her young.” 8. Then yell ‘This is Sparta!’ and kick her off the bed.” 7.
“When you have just finished having sex, make sure your naked partner is at the end of the bed near your feet. “When a chick is giving you head and you pull out and blow in her face, then you hit her in the knee so she ends up jumping around while covering one eye.” 6. “Wake your partner up by inserting your hairy balls in her mouth and you’ll hear the sound of a Wookiee.” 5. “When two girls get naked, strap dildos to their foreheads, get down on all fours and crawl around trying to penetrate each other.” 4. This is when you quietly exit the room, reappearing outside the window where you now – smiling ear to ear – wave at your girl, who suddenly thinks, ‘if he’s out there, who’s fucking me?!’ Hilarity ensues.” 3. Halfway through your thrusting, you do a pull-out move (to, say, finger her a little), and then your friend who is strategically hidden in the room sneaks in and inserts himself as if it were you. “You are doing a girl doggy-style while she’s facing a window to the outdoors.
“After intercourse, when you cum all over a girl’s stomach, you take a swipe off with your index finger, wipe it on her forehead and say ‘Simba’.” 2.
Here are the most hilarious/disgusting entries (changed to include correct grammar, of course – we don’t want you to be distracted by incorrect spelling and poorly placed punctuation marks).ĭisclaimer: For entertainment purposes only.
But by god, if any of them ever look on Urban Dictionary for sexspiration, I will revoke their internet privileges. Personally, I love that there’s a place for me to search for the acronyms my nieces and nephews use on Facebook and in texts – it makes me look like I’m totally clued in on the lingo, which grants me access to the much-sought-after ‘cool aunty’ title. Kanye West makes a spectacular appearance in this list of funny sex positions.
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